Almost Nostalgia

I spent a wonderful, uncharacteristically solitary two hours watching the splendid A Prairie Home Companion, earlier this afteroon, a throwback to a time and place that not only was I not a part of, but that is largely fictional. This got me thinking: Can you feel nostalgia, properly speaking, for something you've never experienced?

The answer is yes, of course you can. I've spent the week-and-change doing just that.

Choices I've made, things I've said and done, people I've invited in and people I've expelled from my life...from where I sit, this last week has been dense with import. The pure, distilled impact of my decisions and actions has been uncharacteristic and cathartic. I feel vital. I feel lovely. And I feel alive.

I can see some of those wilting possibilities...shifting, diaphanous forms, like people seen through a revolving door: gone before you can properly focus on them. Mixed in with the bittersweet recollections and pseduo-nostalgia of these weres, these almosts are the verdant, vibrant growths of the maybes, the possibles, the will-bes...the heady perfume of which fills me with an abiding goodwill. Life is beautiful, and I am blessed.

age makes no difference till you open your mouth.
use your time just to work things out.
i know that you can't understand,
when i tell you that this wasn't planned.
and so it saddens me to say,
i'm only happy when I move away.

This entry was posted by naporeon, on Sunday, June 11, 2006. You can leave your response.